Akiaki's Bizarre Adventure: Stratos Troubles
by Gershon Shupack
Summary: 'Normal' was never a word he would describe himself as. Not even after he moved back to Kuoh and settled into it's social hierarchy as the academically inclined, but utterly naive best friend of the infamous 'Perverted Duo'. But when his beloved peace is interrupted by a series of strange events, will he rise to the challenge or be overwhelmed by his past? IsseixHarem.
1. Chapter 1

[OP: **_STRAIGHT JET_** \- Kuribayashi Minami (_Infinite Stratos_ S1 OP)]

The young man known as 'Hyoudou Issei' let out a soft sigh as his hand quickly fumbled with the door knob. It was quite the irony, going from renowned delinquent feared by even the Yakuza to a perverted dork who was the butt of all jokes in this part of town. But again, if anyone around here figured out who he really was it would cause a flurry of questions that he was not prepared to answer at the moment. _Yare Yare Daze. It's a good thing nobody really asked what happened to me after I defeated that creep DIO. To the law, and the very few that cared about my existence enough to inquire, I was held hostage by a group of local fundamentalists. And I'd very much like to keep it that way._

The truth of the matter was far more complex and would probably start a new conflict between theology and science if you were to take in his more mystical experiences while he tried to figure out how to find a way home, which was why he had kept his mouth shut and allowed the judicial system and his family to come to their own conclusions. Thankfully, nobody back then seemed to notice that his latest outfit was a bit different from the rest or that he had a battle-hardened aura about him now.

He ran a hand through his messy brown hair, slightly unhappy that he couldn't wear his cap or jacket but feeling somewhat satisfied at the fact his two childhood friends would get a taste of their own medicine. _Fucking idiots. Did they really think I was just going to sit there and let myself get beaten up by a bunch of angry girls? Seriously these two need to get a life... or a girlfriend. Man, pretending to be a dumb lecher only interested in women's boobs sucks...but I can't let anyone know about my condition._

The squeak of the door brought him out of his thoughts and he went into his pocket for a smoke, only to realize that he had left his cigarettes and lighter at home. Sighing softly at this he carefully stepped outside, only to suddenly stop mid-walk. "Was someone there? Must have been hallucinating again," Shaking his head at how crazy his life seemed to get these days he leaned back against the wall, allowing the memories of his checkered past to overwhelm him for once.

(A Few Hours Later)

"You didn't hear what happened?"

"Honestly, with all the NOVA attacks and other strange stuff going on, everything just seems to be a blur these days!"

"The _Graceful Queen_, and the _Lustful Heartbreaker_, both got into a fight."

"You can't be serious, right?"

"Apparently, the student council's little sidekick had to be called in to deal with both of them. Miyabi is in a coma last thing, I heard and Malby is on probation unless she can find her Limiter..."

"But doesn't she have the Fre..." Hushed whisper. "Francis?"

Excited rumors and speculations floated around the section of the campus reserved for the training of Pandora and their Limiters. As the infantrymen on reserve chatted, caught up with each other and just had a good time, nobody noticed the unfamiliar face wearing the uniform of the school's civilian division.

Issei, his hands in the pocket of his blazer, narrowed his eyebrows as he tried to figure out where exactly he was. While heading back to class he had the misfortune to encounter into a group of girls who he had been 'caught' peeping on and was forced to make a mad dash for safety, their cries echoing behind him. When he was absolutely sure that he had lost them he looked around to make his way to class, only to discover that he was completely lost.

_M&M, you may be the only company I have in this blasted place but if you keep up with this shit, you'll have my resume ruined before I even get a job!_

As the young man tried to figure out where he was, and how he could return to class without making a absolute fool of himself, he didn't notice the slight tingling on his back or that _**Star Platinum, **_sensing danger to it's master had appeared beside him and was moving towards the target.

"Why does this shit keep happening to me..." He stopped walking for a instant. "Hold on. Where's _**Star Platinum**_?"

_**Stand**_ users could sense the presence of their _**Stand**_ even if it wasn't currently deployed, and Issei was no different. He didn't really use it much since DIO was dead and a quiet suburban area like Kuoh didn't really offer much in the way of threats, but you never knew what could happen these days.

Satelizer El Bridget, the illegitimate daughter of the El Bridget noble line, gritted her teeth as she recovered from her injuries. If she had known that being a Pandora, and then a member of this 'Hero Association' as the Japanese called it, had been so hard and stressful she would have just killed herself and ran away instead of signing up for the program. But she couldn't return to being one of her wretched brother's many playthings, or the black sheep of the family. Not when there was so much at then remembered that she had a mission to finish, and cursed softly at the unfairness of fate.

_It doesn't matter, whether or not I am the 'Untouchable Queen' of East Genetics, or 'King Explosion MURDER' right here! I will not lose, I will show the world that I am not one to be trifled with!_

The sound of slow, shuffling footsteps interrupted her fierce mental debate and she forced herself to stay still.

"Chifiyu-onee-chan, where are you right now? Why did you leave me and imōto behind...what deep and dark secret were you hiding in your past that lead to you abandoning us like that? Even though it's been so long I still want to know why...it just doesn't make a drop of sense!"

_Onee-chan_? The Orimura Chifiyu? While she didn't know much about Japanese politics and internal power plays between the various factions that ruled the nation, who could forget the infamous **_Naitoshiro_** [White Knight] incident and the mass cover up that occurred after that, as the superpowers struggled to accept the fact that portions of their navies and air forces had been trounced by what was later discovered to be a experimental space exploration suit? There had been a attempt by law enforcement to capture the rather mysterious woman after she later entered the Monde Grosso tournament and utterly trounced all who got in her way, but having the gruesomely dismembered remains of special forces assassins draped over your lawn was a good way to kill interest in perusing a subject.

Nobody knew where Chifiyu was at the moment and her only friend in college had gone on the run as well, so the two were quickly placed on the top of the list of the world's most wanted criminals and any information on them bumped to 'XPD' [Expedient Demise].

Ignoring the voice as a trick of her imagination Satelizer slowly got to her feet, picking up her blade as her eyes scanned her surroundings for any sign of her opponent. Sensing nobody at the moment she let out a soft sigh and slowly shuffled towards UA...only to collide into someone as she made her way back to class.

"Hey, watch where you're going..." her speech was interrupted by a pair of arms wrapping around her waist.

"O..onee-chan?"

"I've got you now, _Untouchable Queen_! Now DIE!"

**Oh no you don't! **

_**ORA!**_

"I've been missing you for so long onee-chan..." Satelizer struggled to keep her temper in check lest her disguise be exposed. The idiot in his delusion had his head right between her rather large bust, and if it weren't for the fact that she was currently bleeding out and low on energy he would be nothing but a stain on the wall at this moment. The hot-tempered blonde found herself letting out a low moan as the unwanted intruder held her tightly.

_I, the untouchable Queen and undefeated champion of East Genetics before my dismissal, am being fondled and caressed by a utterly dense idiot of a perv, and there is nothing I can do about it. Although his touch seems somewhat good...what the hell am I thinking? I don't feel as weak as I did before and my wounds..they're almost healed! _

**I know that you're suffering from the pain of being abandoned by your sister Jotaro, and nobody seems to care about you at this place, but you have to snap out of that funk! That bastard DIO might be dead and your troubles in Alizyard over, but I'm sure you remembered what happened to you when you were unable to summon me to use in battle! Abandon your fear and show the world the might of a true Joestar!**

The pervert let go of Satelizer, who let out a sigh of relief as he removed his head from between her breasts. Whoever's lucky enough to marry him will have a warm time in the sack...if they can get him treated for psychological issues first. _Mistaking me for Orimura Chifiyu, he must be really dense to make such a mistake...although that strange ability of his could be quite useful in the field. _

"S..star Platinum? Y..you can talk?"

Her thoughts were interrupted by this surprised stutter.

**I should have done this a long time ago lad, and introduced you to the other two so you wouldn't drive yourself crazy whenever one of us tried to communicate with you, but it's too late to dwell on spilled milk!**

Satelizer narrowed her eyebrows as the pervert turned towards the enemy, getting into a martial arts style she didn't quite recognize. "You're right Star Platinum...I can't keep running away from my past. It's as much a part of me as my strange love for breasts or my interest in marine life." His eyes shone with determination as electricity crackled around his arms.

"Watch me onee-chan. I'll show you that I'm not the weak little brat you left behind all these years ago!"

The young man cocked his fist back as he glared at the surprised West Genetics student about to pounce on Satelizer. "YIN SPIRAL LANCE!"

[ED: _**Imagination Forest **_{JubyPhonic English cover} - Jin (_Mekakucity Actors_)]


	2. Chapter 2

[OP: _**STRAIGHT JET**_ \- Kuribayashi Minami (_Infinite Stratos_ S1 OP)]

(West Genetics Infirmary)

"What a pain..."

Issei's eyes fluttered open as he slowly awoke from his 'dream'. "Ryu-sensei sure was a slave driver, but I've never been more glad for the training even though it was so hard at times," The brown haired youth sighed softly as he felt something hum across his body. "Huh? Is that...Wait it can't be..."

_**You know Naru-kun, if you weren't so dense and lost in those books that you love so much, you'd realize that you're not as lonely as you think yourself to be. **_

He jumped up with a start, looking around frantically as he tried to find the source of the voice. When he realized that it had come from inside his head he let out a soft sigh, shaking his head before wincing in pain. "Ow! What was that for?"

**Take it easy lad. Hamon exhaustion is a dangerous thing and you need to give your body time to rest before engaging in any more strenuous activities. Even with your martial arts training and constant physical activity, that attack drained all of your energy. I'm surprised you can even move, much less speak, but as I wasn't fully trained in the art before my death I can't say for sure if that's an exception or one of the side effects of Hamon.**

Issei slumped back onto the bed and let his mind flow freely for a moment. After he had used his training in Hokuto Shinken to knock out that redheaded chick about to attack the girl who looked a lot like his older sister, his body ran out of energy and he passed out on the floor. While he was unconscious he found himself in a place he later discovered was his 'mindscape', a visual representation of his mental state. While trying to figure out where he was in this strange location, the young man stumbled upon what he later discovered was his 'zankuputo' in a rather compromising situation. The shouting match that had occurred after that was rather boisterous, and it took _**Star Platinum**_'s intervention to stop the two from coming to blows.

_It's honestly hard to believe that I have a freaking Dragon and a rather cute Kitsune yokai living inside me, but honestly, considering what I've gone through, I shouldn't be surprised. Chifiyu-nee did say our family was very special after all, but I never got to ask her what happened to our real parents. Whenever I think of them, all I can hear is a giant roar and the word, "Naruto". I miss you so much onee-san, it's been so long but I still wish to see you again._

As he reflected on his life before moving to Kuoh while trying to figure out what his next move was, the door squeaked open, interrupting this slight reprieve. Issei narrowed his eyebrows at this, causing _**Star Platinum**_ to shake his head inside the mindscape.

**He's just as stubborn as Kurama was...come to think about it Erina had a similar personality too. And from the little I was able to learn about his older sister from his memories, she inherited even more of that spunk than he did.**

"ONII-CHAN!"

The familiar voice caused Issei to sigh once more. He had grown distant from his 'family' ever since he had gone on that trip to Egypt. It was one thing to abruptly leave school after discovering the 'evil spirit' that sent some local toughs to the ICU was actually a psychic manifestation of your fighting power and discovering a sociopathic vampire wanted you dead [AN: I'm using Stardust Crusaders canon up until Egypt, with unnecessary fights cut a la the 2003 OVA, then the original 1993 OVA done by APPP for the DIO arc.], but discovering that you were legally dead and that your absentee father had remarried was quite a different experience.

When he had turned up at the new Tojo family residence, clad in casual clothes and not wearing his signature cap for the first time in half a decade, he was almost arrested for home invasion charges. Luckily, and with some covert help from the Speedwagon Foundation, Issei was able to prove his identity as the son of Jin Tojo and was able to catch up on his classes before going to Kuoh Academy to finish high school. Koneko and Levi re-accepted him warmly, but the rest of the family was a different story.

"You don't have to worry about me so much Houki..." Said comment earned him a hard slap to the face.

"YOU BAKA! DO YOU KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE AT THIS MOMENT? IF THAT HERO IN TRAINING HADN'T CARRIED YOU AND MIO TO THE HOSPITAL, WE'D BE PLANNING ANOTHER FUNERAL!" The black haired swordswoman yelled, her eyes flashing purple behind her glasses. _**Star Platinum** _almost moved to protect his master but stopped at Issei's subconscious command. "Your left arm was completely destroyed according to the doctors. That bomb the Villians set off destroyed a good portion of the old campus that wasn't repaired. Investigations are ongoing but preliminary reports suggest the explosive could have been some sort of kinetic energy generator...although anything is possible when you include the Genetics organization and Chevalier,"

**So these idiots actually thought that Hamon is some sort of bomb, then? It doesn't really matter. The less people who know the truth about the Ripple, the better. **

**_If father learnt what really happened...you'd bet he'd find a way to weaponize it to his advantage. When onee-chan, Kushina and Minato's ex-fiancee in the ninja world...the one whom he had Kazuha-chan with...Mikoto found a way to carry Naruto-kun long enough for him to be born properly the old coot wouldn't stop pestering Minato and his bitch of a wife in this world about their child's location. Thankfully, neither the NOVA or tou-san's little brigade of mad scientists and power-hungry nobles knew anything about our cross-dimensional ability or anything about Hollowfication, although the spies and sleeper agents were quite a nuisance to deal with._**

**I can see why they called you the 'Monster' back at that East Genetics place. But Hamon can be used by anyone as long as you have the proper training and breathing technique. Why is Gengo so obsessed with making more of you 'Pandora' and 'Limiters', if he knows that the average human body can't handle the NOVAfication process? Doesn't Chevalier have weaponry to deal with these wretched monsters?**

**_Because it is his utmost belief that humanity must prevail and ultimately extinguish the NOVA, even at the cost of morality and truth. He doesn't realize, or care that these weak mobile suits or the BETA drones before them are small fry compared to the madness out there. In fact,you guys should be thanking whatever deity you serve that the real invasion force hasn't come yet._**

Issei blinked as he tried to figure out what the two spirits inside his head were talking about. "BASARA! ARE YOU EVEN PAYING ATTENTION TO ME?" The shrill voice of his younger step-sister snapped him back to reality.

(Later that night)

(Tojo Family Residence)

"Yare yare daze,"

Issei mentally face-palmed at the stupidity of his two childhood friends as he rung the doorbell to his house. He had expected them to learn something from having to endure being beaten up by hormonal teenage girls, but noo, they still had to go out and make utter fools of themselves. The brown-haired youth thanked whatever deity was out there that he had a quick healing factor and that he had caught up with his studies during and after the trip to Egypt.

As he waited for someone to open the door he found himself drifting back to the time when he had killed DIO and was transported..to _**that**_ place. Ever since he was a child he had a...gift...of being able to 'freeze' things in place. Initially, it could only be used for two seconds and tended to flare up when he wasn't in control of his emotions, but as he aged and gained more control, that time was increased to five seconds. The skill that he had used to immolate DIO after dodging the explosion of the oil tanker was merely a evolution of that power.

During his time in the 'other world', the young man had discovered that this strange power was actually a form of wide area effect telekinesis which stopped the movements of everything caught in it's AOE except the wielder. He had also found out that the source of this power was a set of crystal glands located on his back.

He hadn't gotten the chance to experiment with this ability much since his return to the regular world, since he was now just an ordinary high school student. But when he had stumbled upon the girl who resembled Chifuyu, the glands had reacted and he was deluded into thinking that she was actually his missing older sister.

"Is something wrong onii-chan? You look kind of..lost,"

Issei snapped out of his thoughts and put up a quick grin. "Oh, it's nothing Rin. Just some minor issues at school," _Caused by my two idiot friends from elementary school_,

The petite brunette narrowed her eyebrows, but decided to leave that particular issue for later. "Um...Basara..."

**Please don't tell me he hasn't noticed.**

Issei stepped into the house and closed the door behind him, unaware of the growing blush on his younger sister's face. "What is it you want this time?"

"You see...although you're Neko-chan and Levi-baka's older brother, we still really don't know much about you even though you've been living with us for half a year now. Although Tabane-onee-san is constantly busy with those weird experiments of hers and Momo-chan doesn't really know how to express her emotions well..." Rin stopped mid-speech as she felt her face flush even more, "they're not too happy with the fact that you've distanced yourself from everyone since your arrival."

The brown haired youth frowned. "Momo-chan?"

"It's one of Houki's nicknames from...middle school." Inside the mindscape Shiro facepalmed and Star Platinum shook his head, while Ddraig had a perverse grin on it's face.

_**Naruto, how you can be so smart and yet so dense at the same time is a mystery even I have failed to unravel.**_

[ED: _**Taiyou Paradise**_ \- Nao (_Nekopara_ VN OP)]


	3. Chapter 3

[OP: _**STRAIGHT JET**_ \- Kuribayashi Minami (_Infinite Stratos_ S1 OP)]

(Issei's Bedroom)

"Ah...uugh..why do I always feel this way when the sun comes up? Blasted ball of light...now I finally understand why the bastard acted the way he did,"

Issei yawned as he attempted to stretch and get out of bed... note attempted to stretch. He looked around him to try and figure out what was impeding his movement, only to nearly die from blood loss. _Why do these things keep happening to me? _

Ignoring the perverted giggle from Ddraig he subconsciously noted that Levi's bust seemed to be rather developed for her age, and Koneko's figure was coming along nicely. _They've grown a lot since my departure...my supposed death must have taken a toll on them._ Sighing softly he absent-mindedly noted the white tail moving slowly in the air. "Huh?"

"Tojo Basara, if you don't come out of that room right now I'm going to use my Quirk to destroy that door! You better not be doing anything perverted in there!"

The brown haired former delinquent yelped in fright and quickly jumped out of the bed, moving towards the door faster than he could collect his thoughts. Unlatching and releasing the locks he swung it open, only to be greeted by a irate Houki. "Good morning Shinomono-san." He really wasn't in the mood for an argument.

"Onii-chan, please don't go..."

"Why does Levi always have to do these stupid things nyaa, then again Bart-baka is hanging out with these two idiots and he does seem to have a strange fetish for breasts after all..."

Issei began to shake as sweat began to pour down his body.

"Is that what I think it is?"

The loud shrieks and pleas for mercy could be heard even at the farthest edge of the neighborhood.

(Breakfast)

"Seriously Houki? You could have made me a cripple, plus our shouting match must have woken up the whole damn neighborhood by now. If I wasn't the four time national Kendo champion...as well as one of Karuka's most infamous delinquents...I probably wouldn't have survived the barrage of sword strikes you were throwing my way," Issei moaned as he tried to avoid the swordwoman's smoldering glare.

"Levi and Koneko were sleeping beside you, naked as the day they were born and you somehow didn't notice? The two idiots you've been hanging out with didn't give you any weird ideas, have they?"

The brown-haired youth gulped as he quickly swallowed a rice ball. "It's not my fault those two are a bunch of perverted creeps! Man, I should have known that old man was trouble from the moment we spotted him back then. I was young and naive, collecting All Might figurines like a maniac to ease the pain of losing my first friend,"

**He does know that 'Bakugo' and 'Irivan' were actually girls, right? And that he encountered 'Bakugo' when his Stigmata reacted to the presence of Chifiyu's NOVA fragments inside her right?**

_**Naruto-kun has a mind that can put even his utterly bizzare spectacle of his stepmother to shame if you give him enough motivation, but he's just as dense as his father when it comes on to relationships. Minato was a genius who unfortunately passed before his time, that idiot Obito always did have away to fuck things up, but it took him two years to pop the question to Mikoto and he probably had no idea Kushina's eagerness to carry Naruto wasn't all that benevolent. I really should have gotten rid of that bitch wife he had in this world as soon as Naruto-kun was transferred. She was so selfish and vain it's a wonder brother dearest even managed to put a ring on her finger. The woman had no clue she was just a front to keep the family secret safe - if there's one thing I'll give the shinobi credit for it's that their memory alteration skills are top notch.**_

"You can't be serious right?"

Everyone's attention turned to a short red head wearing the civilian uniform of West Genetics. "I don't really keep up with all the gossip on the normie side of the campus, but the Perverted Trio everybody seems to be whining about down there consists of two guys named Matsuda and Motohama and that rumor-loving head of the mini mech's inteligence gathering section, Kiryuu. Our dearest brother might be a dense idiot with his heads in the books all the time, but he's one of the top students for his grade and is competing with that unbaptized Limiter Arashi-sensei has as her trump card in the most desired boy of the school department. Basara hasn't been up to some lewd plot yet again, has he? The IS corps is still itching for a rematch after we kicked their sorry butts, and the capes almost sued both of us for damages."

"Tell me why did we decide to do this again?"

The brunette ninja in training looked at her sibling with a pained look on his face.

Tabane, clad in a work outfit that emphasized her rather large bust, shook her head as she sat down at the head of the table. She knew that Jin was still alive somewhere, most likely fighting a one man battle against both the reform faction and the hardliners who were itching for a fight with everything except the Dragons, but there were spies every where and Szreach's sister practically ran the entire town. And with the news that Lord Gremory had died and given his power to a successor spreading like wildfire, you could bet your life on the possibility that some fool with more brain than brawn was going to attack the town and undo everything in only a few seconds.

She knew that Basara had most likely fought against and slain DIO in Egypt, how the young man defeated such a wretched beast was a mystery to even her but she assumed it had something to do with his training in the Hero Clan and later with his dad. The **Banishing Shift** was supposedly able to erase anything in its path after all. The Speedwagon Foundation was good, she'd give them credit for that, but they were no match for someone who had come up with the Infinite Stratos while hiding from a meeting in a tavern, and presented a prototype to world leaders in the human realm the next morning.

Thanking whatever deity or pantheon ruling over this particular area for not being noticed by any human government (or the magical world) as yet, the infamous mad scientist and former Devil King [she always hated the position anyways, plus dealing with ignorant old crones took a lot of time away from her experiments] let a small smile appear on her face. Not the insane grin she had when working on her experiments, or the blatantly fake one she had when she was one of the rulers of the magical world.

(Issei's Classroom)

**You really had no idea you were that popular?**

Issei huffed as he stepped inside his classroom, noting the murmurs and deep blushes on the girls' faces when they noticed his presence. _I honestly couldn't give a shit about the opinions of spoiled brats who haven't even left their parents' mansion, much less hold a real job. I could have just gone straight to university and gotten my PhD in marine biology, but Gramps wasn't too happy about me 'not getting to have a normal life' plus nobody knew who I was around here...until M&M had to fuck it up_, the brown haired youth admitted as he found his seat and sat down, wishing that he had brought a pack of cigarettes with him.

_**Why do you even hang out with these two idiots? I know they're your childhood friends and all, but they're some of the worst lechers in the school, and every time you get beaten up by the victims of their perverted actions, Ddraig and I lose quite a bit of energy having to repair what gets broken.**_

The young man let out a soft sigh as he took out a book from his bag and placed it on his desk, flipping to a page. _Because...I just have a thing for helping people in need._

**That's all well and good lad, but sometimes...idealism can lead to situations that could have otherwise been prevented. Take me and Dio for example. I loved him as a brother, despite his constant villainies and treachery. And even when he had been transformed into a monster by that wretched stone mask, I still naively believed he would come to his senses and stop his evil plots. And look at what that kindness got me. Having my life, my own body being taken from me by that beast and being unable to grow old with my beloved Erina...you truly are my descendant. **

Issei shrugged as he added a bit of shade to the sketch of himself with the Stardust Crusaders, still wearing his favorite hat and what he called his 'punk' outfit. In the background DIO's eyes glowed menacingly, just above the pyramids of Egypt. Beside that scene was a self-portrait of his time in Aliyazard, with what he now knew was a physical representation of Shiro in his left hand.

"That's quite the piece of artwork you have there Hyoudou-san. I was afraid that you'd turn out to really be a ignorant lecher with a breast fetish and a strange obsession with being the 'Harem King' considering the company you keep, but I'm glad that's not the case. Before we continue this conversation could you please stop pretending to be a pervert? It's quite annoying and even though I believe you want to keep your friends out of trouble ribbit, if we hear that any of you are engaging in perverted activities, the consequences will be quite severe. "

_Why the hell am I smelling frog...and a strong scent of desire?!_

[ED: _**Taiyou Paradise**_ \- Nao (_Nekopara_ VN OP)]


	4. Chapter 4

[OP:_** STRAIGHT JET**_ \- Kuribayashi Minami (_Infinite Stratos_ S1 OP)]

_You know that transfer student who asked you out on a date is actually a fallen angel, right? Even with Johnny-boy and Bryn-chan to help you there's no guarantee you'll survive this._

Issei let out a small huff as he checked his surroundings to ensure that he wasn't being followed. After his talk with..whomever had been observing him he had somehow gotten a lot more attention than what he normally received. He wasn't sure why everyone saw him as some sort of big shot, despite his past and certain strange events in his life, he saw himself as just an average guy entangled in strange situations. _I'll find a way. After all, outside of the Hero Clan nobody knows who Tojou Basara is, right? Plus, I'm always prepared for any situation._

For this occasion, he had ditched his school uniform for a tuxedo suit and one of his trenchcoats, with one of his old caps to top it off. He had told Houki and others that he was expected somewhere, but not exactly where he was. Shiro was hidden in a set of wristbands that were thankfully covered by his sleeves and Star Platinum would accompany him for the duration of the date.

_Do you think we should tell him what the Arms Devices he took from the gymnasium actually do? _

_**He thinks the Hero Clan is just some quasi-government agency and all the talk of yokai and devils was actually a euphemism for terrorists and organized crime groups. He has no idea that the higher-ups in the group banished him and Jin because they believed they were linked to a group of people whom they called 'villains'. **_

As he made his way to the park, his cap covering his face, he noticed the stares and whispers he was getting from women as he passed by. _Am I becoming some sort of chick magnet or what? Good grief, first the rabid fangirls that I had absolutely no idea about and the amphibian secret admirer whom everybody seems to fear for some reason, and now I can't walk the streets without being ogled by ladies. Please forgive me, Kakoyin. I had no idea your situation was that bad._

**_He has no idea that apart from being the toughest gang leader in all of Karuka Town, he had a small harem of ladies consisting of the girls of the SOS club, the shy orange haired girl with a huge bust, his karate training partner and the orangette's bi-sexual friend who lusted after him to the point of madness. And before that, Serafell's younger sister and the Tatenashi girl actually fought over who would marry him first. When all these women meet each other, it's going to be one hell of a fight I tell you. _**

"ISSEI! I'M OVER HERE!"

"COMING!"

Using a small bit of wind element to boost his speed the young man made his way to his date, unaware of the slight green glow of the armbands.

(Kuoh Park)

_Here comes the trouble. _

_You know, she's actually pretty nice for an assassin sent to take me out. It's a shame whoever sent her has no clue who he's dealing with, or else they wouldn't have given out the mission in the first place. Plus, that was my first date._

Forcing a smile onto his face, Issei prepared to summon Shiro while trying to be covert as possible. The armbands on his wrists hummed with power as he prepared himself to do the dirty deed. "Is something wrong Issei-kun?"

The brown haired youth almost had a heart attack. "No, everything's fine. Perfectly fine,"

"Um...Issei-kun, can I ask you a question?"

_**Just don't get yourself killed this time. **_

CRASH!

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! I really should have looked where I was going, I had no idea I was going to land into someone...EEAAGH! " the voice above him replied in a childish manner. Issei blinked as he looked around him only to hear Ddraig cackling and a soft but constant growl behind him.

"You didn't look, didn't you?" The girl seemed to be quite frightened and Issei found her to be quite cute, to his shame and disgrace. Before he could do anything else he felt a pair of lips capture his and a tongue enter his mouth.

_That's the spirit baby...I told you he was a chick magnet._

**_Why does everything you do or say, have to be about sex or something lewd?_**

"I finally found you, Ashikabi-sama,"

A mechanical beep finally snapped Issei out of his daze. "Oh...crap! I really don't know what's going on, and I have no idea if this is somebody's idea of a big joke, but it's getting really late and I gotta go! See you later..." The dust trail created from his mad dash had the girls coughing for around two minutes.

(The Next Day)

"Man, that was one heck of a dream. Me getting a girlfriend who turns out to be a fallen angel, and then a girl falls right out of the sky and calls me her husband. Must have been the withdrawal from the nicotine that did it...seriously Ddraig...HUH? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?"

Issei nearly had a heart attack as he tried to find a way to escape the sea of boobs that surrounded him.

_This feels like I'm living my middle school dream..so much boobs...boobs..boobs...boobs! Gah, What the hell was I thinking back there?_

"Please don't go Ise-kun...how am I going to explain this to the Grigori later...(sigh) As long as I can be by your side that's fine,"

"Ashikabi-sama feels so nice and warm...ha, take that Tsukiumi! You said I was a third rate, cheaply made rip off of your so-called 'Pandora Project' but look who's talking now!"

"Damn you Riser and the rest of my so-called family...why won't you understand that I don't give a damn about your pride and honor! All I want to do is protect my peerage and teach the next generation of Pandora and Limiters...but of course they wouldn't have a clue as to what those mean. Why couldn't this have happened to you Szreach...sorry I forgot you have so many titles you can't find time for your grieving mother and the little sister whom you've only seen once or twice in 5 years,"

The brown haired youth raised a eyebrow at the last voice. _Arashi-sensei?_ He thought suddenly.

Nikado Arashi was a P.E teacher at Kuoh Academy and one of the 'Great Ladies' of the school, despite her status as a teacher. Due to her red hair and foreign appearance she was said to be from Northern Europe, although she spoke Japanese flawlessly. She was always accompanied by one of her fellow 'Great Ladies' Himejimura Akeno, or Issei's competitor for the most desired boy in the school, Yuki Kiba, and the three of them were part of the mysterious 'Occult Research Club' which Issei assumed was a front for some supernatural activity in the same way the SOS back at North High was designed to conceal Haruhi's gigolomania.

_You really managed to score it big this time Issei...you're going from strength to strength in the harem king department! It's a shame you're such a prude...with blood such as yours it's a mystery that you're like this. _

_Just shut up Ddraig...seriously why does everyone around me think I'm still a pervert? I mean, yeah I did some really stupid things in middle school...but still..._

"You better open up that door Tojou Basara, because if I catch you doing anything perverted in there I swear I'm going to kill you!"

"I'm coming Houki! Just give me a minute!" Issei managed to wriggle himself free from the grasp of the girls and, after checking himself to make sure that he wasn't naked, carefully unlatched the door before opening it. "Sorry Ku-chan, just got caught up in something," _Why did I call her that?_

He didn't notice the blush slowly spreading across Houki's cheeks.

(Some Time Later)

"Seriously?! I haven't seen Motohama and Matsuda for about a week and I haven't done anything perverted since my enrollment in the school. Are these two up to their old tricks again? I should have known they'd do something like this,"

Issei let out a soft sigh as he followed his homeroom teacher to the principal's office. Why did life have to be so complicated at times? All he ever wanted was a nice quite life and a degree in marine biology so he could fulfill his dream of working with aquatic creatures, but people and circumstances kept on getting in the way. In Karuka it was idiot teachers and other gang members who thought it was a good idea to start selling drugs to children in the area. To be honest, he still had no idea how he ended up becoming one of the most feared punks in the town back then.

Unaware of the massive shade of red on the sliver haired woman's cheeks as they passed other students and teachers or the whispers and rumors floating around, the brown haired youth narrowed his eyes as his nose detected a anomaly. _Blood and the scent of battle...Rose-sensei's definitely a fighter of some sort. From the way she carries her self as well as her aura, it's safe to assume she was special forces or black ops of some kind. The question is, what is someone like her doing here?_

He was so lost in his thoughts he almost didn't notice when they stopped in front of the door. "Yamada-baka, you in there? Please don't tell me you broke up with a guy again? I've brought the student you requested, he's right here with me,"

"Hyoudou Issei, right? The self proclaimed 'Harem King' and childhood friend of the worst lechers in the history of the civilian sector. Also, one of our more academically gifted students with an eye for biology, sharing the position of most desired boy in the school with Ingrid's little unbapitized Limiter whom she has as a backup plan. You even managed to get your own fan-club after just two months of attendance, which is part of the reason why we brought you here,"

_I knew hanging out with those guys was going to bite me back in the ass...man why do I always end up in those weird situations?_

"I am not in love with Hyoudou Issei! Why would I want to be associated with a filthy Japanese man anyways? Besides, he's the best friend of _those two_ and even we know what big perverts those two and their little nerdy friend are...although he does seem kind of cute,"

SLAP!

"Although you are currently not in the IS academy Mrs. Alcott, this is still an educational institution, and as such you will behave in a respectful manner towards your superiors. Hyoudou-san has been gifted with a ability that could lead to the destruction of everything we hold dear if made public knowledge, and I will not allow your juvenile fantasies and obvious mental instability to interfere with a matter of such serious importance. You and Miss Murayama over there, both argued over whether or not you would be the first to take his virginity before having a falling out with the other cult members which lead to the Hero Association suing both us and the Genetics Corp for damages. Don't play coy Miss Malby, you were also one of the ring leaders as well. Rossweiss, Hyoudou, you can both come in,"

_Heheh, I told you the drake was going to be a chick magnet. Don't deny it Fairchild, you also want a piece of him also. _

_**J...just shut up ero-dragon. **_

The door swung open and the two stepped inside, Issei trying to distract himself by thinking about dolphins and Rossweiss struggling not to faint. _He's so manly...even though he tries to hide it by acting perverted I can sense the aura of a warrior about him. He would make such a good husband...bad Rose what are you thinking? You're like...what 300 years old and he's only 16!_

"So this is the one who's been causing all the ruckus...I have to say you're quite the troublemaker Hyoudou-san, or is Tojou Basara a bit more easier for you to understand?"

"C...Chifiyu-nee?"

[ED: _**Taiyou Paradise**_ \- Nao (_Nekopara_ VN OP)]


	5. Chapter 5

[OP: _**STRAIGHT JET**_ \- Kuribayashi Minami (_Infinite Stratos_ OP 1)]

(Unknown Location)

"Seriously? Is this all you have to offer?"

The roars and shrieks of several NOVA were the only response to his question. Letting out a small huff of boredom the young man got into a fighting stance resembling western boxing, his glove covered fists crackling with electricity.

_For someone so academically inclined, your love of combat can be quite strong. _

"Yeah, yeah I knew all of that already," he finished off the comment with a small 'tch'. "This is just a warm up, trust me. If I'm going to get strong enough to defeat these Akasuki guys and deal with the fuckwits known as Vatlantis I need enough power to ensure not even a nuclear missile can fuck me up,"

_You do realize that you're already wanted by the Shinobi and all the major law enforcement agencies in this world for different reasons, right?_

"Fuck those cosplaying clowns and the corrupt enforcers of whatever cult calls the shots in their local area," he growled as he leapt from his position, creating a sonic boom and a crater as he dashed towards his target, his red jacket trailing behind him. "Plus they have no evidence that the class clown of Konoha's Academy or a Italian high school student is the person they want, or even about that strange ability we...I have. Pandora and IS pilots can only be girls, right?"

_Whatever 'Naruto', or is it Giorno now that we're in the other world? Just don't get yourself killed this time. I know you love to play with your prey before going in for the kill, but these aren't your average street thugs or weak shinobi. These are autonomous machines of war developed by the Empire for one purpose, to strike fear and desolation into the hearts of the enemy..._

The sound of loud explosions and mechanical parts being drowned out the stand's voice. When a team of Pandora and Limiters were finally deployed to the area it was discovered that all the NOVA had been either brutally dismembered or operating on their last surge of energy.

(IS Corps Barracks)

_**Should we tell him that the only reason why he can even pilot those wretched rip offs of the Heart Hybrid Gear the fucking bastards in the Vatlantian Military's R&D division created to compliment the NOVA is because of their blood and the fucking prototype combat suit that bitch implanted in him ? **_

_With how insane your father and his followers, as well as those idiots from that extradimensional Empire hunting down your mother because of her supposed treasonous actions are, I don't think that's a good idea at the moment. _

**Although I don't normally agree with the lecherous lizard, his analysis of this situation is correct. With all those cults running around looking for the chance to display and solidify their status on the world stage as major powers, any rash move could lead to disaster. By the way, why did those clowns ruling Valantis attempt to kill your mother for?**

_**I've already told you the story of how a warp drive misfiring lead to my mother ending up in what became the shinobi world. What I didn't remember to say is that her immense power didn't really come from her origins as the heiress of a minor noble family back home. It was from a fruit she ate while trying to stop a war in the shinobi world. Things got...out of control, something called a Shinju and a Juubi came into play, and the last thing she remembered was being sent into a dimensional portal while fighting her two sons and waking up in a field hospital in Korea run by the First Battalion of the then JSDF (Japanese Self-Defense Forces). She said once, during a argument with tou-san, that she believed the Imperial Family of Vatlantis sent the BETA to drain Earth of it's resources but when they were eventually defeated by the superpowers under the banner of the UNSDL, discovered what had happened to kaa-san, and in a desperate move to gain more power like the inbred fuckwits they are, sent in the mobile suits to retrieve her, believing Earth and the shinobi world to be one and the same. **_

_Imagine what would have happened if the bi...Nayuta somehow managed to get even a small fraction of that information. I'm surprised Minato even managed to get past the 'fellow acquaintance' phase of the relationship, he seemed like a nice person from what you've told us about him. _

_**Now you're reminding me of my time at home. Still, not even Gengo or his old employers had any idea that Ryuuchi's unassuming, clutzy and absent-minded housewife was actually a scheming, narcopathic and ultimately extremely self-serving, amoral bastard of a woman who would stop at nothing to achieve her utterly twisted ideal of a perfect world, even at the cost of innocent lives. It wouldn't surprise me if she had some backup plan in the works in case her plots failed.**_

While the spirits inside him debated among themselves whether to tell him the full truth of his origins and the girls he passed gave him stares of admiration or stares of confusion, Issei let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding as he made his way to his destination. Since he was still technically a civilian when he had stumbled upon the Uchigane and remote-piloted it by accident [he had been a first year at North High at that time], and he hadn't received any formal training in his Freezing abilities, his 'Quirk{s}, or Pandora powers, it was decided that all three institutions would assist in his training. The details hadn't been settled yet and there were a lot of things that were unclear at the moment, but he would join the Hero course as a extra and fight and train with the IS cadets. While he was initially surprised that the Kendo and the Entrepreneurship Clubs were actually schools for superheroes in training and miniature mecha wielding female soldiers, the young man had seen a lot of strange things in his life and just saw it as another weird occurrence.

He had been moved into a spare building on the old campus converted into a living space, as his Pandora and a few representatives from the Hero Association and the IS Corps would be living with him from now on. He had found it extremely weird when everyone was looking at him like he was some big wig, but shrugged it off as just being unlucky enough to get a fan club and being noticed for his talents.

Unconsciously pulling his black cap further down, Issei hmned thoughtfully at his busy new life and narrowed a eyebrow as he found the location of the practice arena. "They really know how to pull out all the stops, do they?" Then he realized whom he was dealing with and shrugged.

As he made his way to the USJ with the hope of making a good impression on his new classmates, Chifiyuu sighed softly as she observed her younger brother through the CCTV cameras around the school. She didn't really want the job, but the government had given her and Maya a choice between life imprisonment in a supermax, ratting on Tabane or 'transmitting your skills in combat to the young for the glory of Great Japan'. The fact that neither of them had committed any crimes apart from their time in Phantom Task and the former Monde Grosso champion's foolhardy rescue of her younger brother from their mother's clutches while in a near berserk state from the fatal injuries sustained from fighting the NOVA [how Tabane resurrected her is a mystery not even the best scientists could explain] and heavily damaged stigmata from that event, meant nothing to the Public Security agents who arrested her as soon as she stepped outside the airport and had her detained in maximum security until she told them everything they wanted to know.

It later turned out that the laboratory she had rescued Ichika from was just one of many bases _that woman_ had, some of which weren't even connected to Phantom Task and were just there to produce advanced weapons of war for sale all over the world. During a raid on what she later learned was a 'Villain' hideout the 'Hero Association' discovered a treasure trove of extremely advanced weaponry and military grade combat equipment, most of it in the prototype stage of development as well as a small houseful of research and discarded theories. After months of careful examination and careful sleuthing, it was determined Nayuta had been collaborating with, or using a group known as 'the League' as a means to further her status as one of the world's most dangerous merchants of death and underground scientific authorities. There were even fifth generation IS and three new generations of the Imperial Army's latest toy, the Samurai Models for Kami's sake!

Ironically, the current campus was formerly the site of a joint US-Japanese military project in which Nayuta worked when playing the role of the dutiful housewife. The Americans later withdrew, citing ethical concerns and the 'neo Mengele''s near obsession with the acceleration and control of human evolution. During its rehabilitation into the 'Atarixa Defense Institute' a huge amount of experimental equipment and theories were discovered, most of them concerning a set of battle armor that would later evolve into 'Infinite Stratos' used by national armies all over the world. From what little cryptographers and scientists trying to understand the whole ordeal could understand, the 'Connection Fusion Gear' was a weapon powerful enough to lead to the apocalypse, but the user needed to experience very strong emotions for its power to be unlocked fully.

To solve this problem as well as satisfy her sick curiosity, Nayuta modified what was found to be a discarded IS core, and after transforming the bodies of her own children into living weapons, implanted the device, codenamed 'Eros' inside Ichika in a attempt to see if intimate contact could raise the performance and energy level of the Gears.

Luckily enough, Chifiyu's NOVAfication fueled rampage rescued the young boy from a life of constant experimentation, although the record logs did mention a younger sister about two years younger than him and a amnesiac girl found on the streets of Chidorifugami as the other test subjects for the 'Connection Fusion Gear'.

Eros' full capacities were unknown as it was a prototype _Support Unit_ for the _**Infinite Stratos**_ and was made from a discarded trans-generation core, but it seemed to be able to grant 'administrator privileges' to it's user when engaged in consistent contact with advanced technology, which was why Ichika was able to control and hypothetically pilot IS units without special equipment and software.

The insanity of Nayuta's plots went even further than that, and the investigation into her activities was still ongoing, but the evidence being accumulated was so strong, even the most seasoned legal team couldn't keep **that** woman out of death row. At the thought of this Chifiyuu felt something akin to satisfaction enter her heart, narrowing her eyes as she finally realized what it was.

_So this is justice, huh? Well tou-san, I hope that you can at least find peace...because right now I have no idea what to believe. My brother whom I've only seen a few times in my entire life...turns out to be one of that woman's experiments, and to make things worse, the bitch had two more replacements after I saved him. _

"Taichou, there's been an incursion into the USJ! Terrorists have seized control of the facility and to make matters worse, we can't get inside! The cadets of the UA Institute are trapped inside as well as some West Genetics Infantrymen and even some members of our IS Corps!"

_Why do these things keep happening to me?_

(USJ - Unforseen Simulation Joint)

"HUNDRED CRACK FIST: BLAZING SOLAR OVERDRIVE!"

A moderately sized crowd were sent flying by Issei's fists as he bombarded them with his fists. While he might not be as skilled as Toki or even Raoh in the art of Hokuto Shinken (North Star Death Fist), he had mastered enough of the deadly art to overwhelm any opponent who came in his way.

When the smoke cleared Issei had a slight frown on his face as he surveyed the landscape.

_I know that I'm a bit different from everyone else - but this? Come on! I wasn't even putting in a fraction of my power into my attack._

**Well, you're my descendant and the progeny of several races both extraterrestrial and supernatural, so that should clear things up a little. It seems that, contrary to its name ,Eros doesn't really rely on intimate experiences to function properly...at least not at full power. Although the blood of the Vatlantis Royal line and the influence of lecherous lizard here might have something to do with that. **

_Hey, I'm just doing my duty as the patron of prosperity and fertility! And plus Mrs. Prim and Proper isn't all so innocent either, she'd destroy the whole world if she could have the drake to herself...although considering their relationship things would get more than rocky there._

_**J...just shut up ero-dragon! I'm not doing this out of choice you know! **_

Their little chat was interrupted by a loud roar and the sound of the earth shaking. Deciding to deal with that particular can of worms later Issei quickly dashed over to the source of the roar, only to pass out in shock.

"Yuria...Momo...Aikko...what are you doing here? This can't be real right? I must be in some bad dream...why are Yu-chan and Momo in such lewd and skimpy outfits? Is this somebody's idea of a sick joke or what? And what are you doing "

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU KOUHTA-BAKA, THAT MY NAME ISN'T YURIA, ZERO TWO OR EVEN LUCY! AND IT'S DEFINITELY NOT KAEDE EITHER! IT'S AINE! CHIDORIFUGAMI AINE! Kouhta-kun..." a short pause as the pinkette rubbed her ruby red eyes. "IT REALLY IS YOU! Thank goodness you're alive Kouhta-kun, I thought you had died back there! But you look quite different from the last time Kou-kun. Did something happen during your journey to Egypt or what?"

Issei sighed softly as he stared blandly at the girl whom he had promised to marry just before his confrontation with DIO. "I was a bit of a delinquent in my first year in high school, and apart from Jagi and Raoh there were some other things I had to deal with. There's more to the story and trust me, this is just the beginning...and besides, apart from your rather inappropriate choices of clothing, you and Ku-chan look ready for war. Don't you..." he was interrupted by a bored groan, followed by a loud whistle.

"I know this must be quite the awkward family reunion, plus some of the girls over there are unhappy that spoiled princess took their knight in delinquent armour, but keep it down! It's kind of hard to focus on beating the shit out of a hulking beast when the guys chasing your ass start whining about relationship problems! Hold on...I think I might know dark and broody from somewhere. Think...think...just shut up you! Once I kick your sorry ass I'm hauling ass straight out of here, don't want to become another test subject after all." Issei noticed the broken and beaten body lying at his feet before shaking his head. "Aha! You're the guy who made headline news a month ago when you were held by Egyptian authorities in a maximum security cell after apparently managing to kill All for One near his hideout! The whole thing became a international incident when it was discovered the foreign delinquent about to be executed was the grandson of that man!"

"_**BLADE!**_"

"Get away from my onii-chan you meddling vigilante! _**Vibration Overload!**_"

"Is there something you aren't telling me Kouhta-kun?" Issei shivered in fear as he felt the cold blade pressed against his neck.

[ED: _**Taiyou Paradise**_ \- Nao (_Nekopara_ VN OP)]


	6. Chapter 6

[OP: _**miele paradiso**_ \- Nomiso Iori (_Masou Gakuen HxH_ S1 OP)]

(Issei's Classroom)

_That didn't go so well, didn't it? Yuri...sorry Aine could have sent me to the ICU or worse, the morgue and from the way Aikko and Ku-chan looked, they were clearly unhappy with what was going on. I know we're engaged Yuria-kun, but couldn't you have just waited until we **both** graduated before taking up your wifely duties? I already have a bunch of fangirls in this place watching my every move in the hopes of having my children someday, imagine what would happen if our relationship and the fact that I'm the heir apparent of Joseph Joestar became public knowledge?! Just thinking about that makes me want to throw up. _

Issei hissed softly as he limped towards his seat, glances and whispers coming his way as he hobbled slightly. "Did you hear? The bastard had a girlfriend all along! Not just any girl, but a real looker and one of the Great Ladies of the School! She found out he was cheating on her and beat the shit out of him! Everybody in the school at that time saw it! The story going around now is that they were about to go to a love hotel when she stumbled upon him doing it with two other girls on the old campus!"

"Really?"

"It seems like a joke, but it's totally true! That bastard was fooling everyone by pretending to be a lecherous idiot when in reality, he had been double timing Chidorifugami-sama with kaichou and a really cute girl from the entrepreneurship club for a good while now! We couldn't believe it!"

"Don't forget the bondage suit Sona was in! They seemed to have just gotten started when Chidorifugami kicked open the door and found them together, but the look on kaichou's face told us everything!"

Plopping down into his seat, Issei sighed softly as he adjusted his hat. After dealing with the rest of the Villains [which, to be fair were easy targets for the IS Corps and Pandora] he and the girls had attempted to capture the male IS pilot that had defeated the bird beaked monster but the guy was able to distract them by using his Unit like a _**Stand,** _and got away after using a smoke grenade to cover his tracks. Needless to say neither Aine or Aikko was happy about the events of the past few days, and when the silver-haired IS user found her future husband trying to explain things to his two younger siblings, things got rather messy.

_You know that your wife is one of us, right? And if my suspicions are correct, then the human world is more than screwed if your idiot grandfather doesn't get his act together! The BETA and NOVA might be bad, and the Heart Hybrid Gear a absolute pain in the ass to deal with, but if the sick fucks running the show back home get serious then mankind is done for!_

_Ddraig, I know that you love to joke around but you can't be serious, right? Aine might be prideful, arrogant and psychotic to the point where she does absolutely stupid things, but she's no dragon! S...she's definitely not human...but still..._

**_Have you ever seen a human with two horns sticking out from their head?_**

Issei sighed softly as he adjusted his cap, thanking whoever ran the school for the small privileges his new status gave him. He might not be the gang leader feared by even the 'Great Schools of Kanto' whoever the fuck those were, but he had been wearing the jacket and cap for so long, going without them made him feel naked. He still had to wear the uniform of Ataraxia's civilian division underneath the trenchcoat, but that was a small discomfort compared to his other problems.

"You never cease to interest me, Hyoudou Issei. Even though you put up this impenetrable guise of a pervert only interested in the mammary organs of females, once in a while your true self, the person hiding behind all the lecherousness and stupid behavior, manages to show himself, ribbit. Taking Shitori-sama and Jiro-san at the same time, all while dating the 'Unbeatable Tomboy' of the IS Corps, you really are a ladies' man. Maybe the writer of those Icha Icha novels we keep on taking from the boys down here isn't so anonymous after all,"

_If I had known that little attempt to try and earn money after one of Dad's long disappearances would turn into something this bad, I would have gotten rid of my chunnibyou sooner!_

_**You have no idea how lucky you are Naruto-kun.**_

_I'm imagining that when the smoke clears from their little fight, the area that they were battling in would be uninhabited for years to come._

**_Jiariya-baka never really knew how to take 'no' for a answer. Although he was Ryuuchi's sensei after brother dearest graduated from the shinobi academy, May never trusted him or anybody from Konoha with a position of power, and while Minato and onee-san thought she was paranoid, her assessment turned out to be absolutely correct. Thank goodness most shinobi have no idea what 'fuinjutsu' can really do, and the Empire doesn't really care much about advanced technology beyond conquest and subjugation. Auntie Mito was a genius beyond her time, it's a shame her idiot of a husband just had to give into his ego and hand out the Tailed Beasts to the other nations, instead of working with Madara to strengthen Konoha._**

**Look at the good that did. Even in my time when the most advanced weapon was a semi-automatic rifle, such a move would be seen as absolutely stupid and suicidal, to see the least. I can see why this Zetsu character was able to influence this Hashiarama's former friend into doing such rash decisions after his betrayal by the man.**

_Enough whining! Konoha is as good as finished, the whole concept was corrupt from the start and even with 'Minato' in charge, his influence wasn't enough to stop the rot infesting that place. We all know what they did to Kazuha-chan as soon as he 'died' and Sarutobi regained power, war is one thing but deliberate genocide is one thing even the wretched crows balk at! What these monsters ruling that pitful excuse of a ninja did is absolutely unforgivable and even though I despise the fact your hands are stained with blood, I will at least admit that your actions in this case were of self-defense. What we need to do now is guide Naruto into the man he needs to be, so that when Vatlantis and the CLOWN running around calling himself a 'god' because of that mutated Sylvanian bloodline of his, hiding in that post apocalyptic hellhole ganma-baka left him in decide to make their move, we can give them what they had coming!_

_**You don't think...I'm a monster? But I killed so much people, and I couldn't save my only friend...**_

**I hate to say it, but perverted lizard over there is right. You didn't have the best of lives and honestly, though I don't feel sorry for Kurama in the least, I can understand why you two acted the way you did. But to be truthful, we don't have time. There are two organizations out there, each one determined to rule the world by whatever means ****necessary****, but unaware of the others' existence. If one or both succeed in their goal...we all know what will happen.**

Meanwhile, Issei suppressed a yawn as he resisted the temptation to put his feet on the desk, the golden chain on his jacket clanking as he covered his mouth. "My name is Hatsume Mei, please take care of me, okay?"

"Otosashi Homura, nice to meet ya,"

_Why do I have the feeling that my life is going to get a lot more complicated from now on?_

(Later that Day)

(Cafeteria)

"_Yare yare daze._No matter what, it seems like my dream of a peaceful and quite life is always a bit farther than I think it to be. First it was the whole delinquent thing and then the SOS Club, which gives me nightmares every time I think about some of the things we did...it doesn't help that I dyed my hair orange and was known as 'Strawberry' to those around me. Then I beat the shit out of a couple of thugs after I caught them selling drugs to elementary schoolers...that was the first time I used Star Platinum consciously. After that the grandfather I never knew rescued me from a life of delinquency and from there everything just got crazy. Dealing with DIO and his minions, losing friends left and right, while having to deal with the fact that I might never see my family again. And then when everything seems to be normal for once..._this_ happens. I wonder what Yuki-chan and Mi-kun would think of this now."

Issei raised a eyebrow as he sensed someone enter his closed space. "You're quite the interesting one, Mr. Dark and Broody. From what I hear, you're supposed to either be a militant pervert who's only real interest is in women's breasts, or a ignorant dork so lost in books but it seems like that impression is quite...lacking. That outfit of yours, where did you get it?"

_I didn't even sense her! How did she even find out where I was sitting? I've gotten quite lax if what I'm sensing is correct._

Turning around to face his new classmate, the youth briefly entertained the idea of playing ignorant but it disappeared as soon as it came. _You're not a kid anymore Kyon...speaking of my childhood, I wonder what happened to that kid who moved out of Karuka when I was little. Not Bakugo, although the two looked kinda similar._

"Oh, it's you Homura. I was surprised since I don't normally get visitors around here and this place is usually mostly empty. Come on, have a seat,"

_That jacket and cap of his scream edgy and rebellious...come to think of it he actually looks a lot like **her**. The hair and eyes might differ, and of course he's a guy, but who knows what that bitch might have been up to when she wasn't screwing both sides over to satisfy her amoral desires. Come on, snap out of it! There's no way a man can be a shinobi and you know that!_

Issei sensed the disturbance in Homura's feelings and frowned, noting that she seemed quite troubled. "Is something wrong? If you don't feel comfortable talking about it, you don't have to. But still..."

"I'm fine. Just got distracted, that's all,"

The blush creeping across the former dark shinobi's face told quite a different story.

(Unknown Location)

"Seriously old man? We're being chased by a corrupt corporation which literally owns the entire robotics industry, a bunch of comic book wannabes that literally own the government down here, as well as a whole bunch of refugees from some perverted fantasy manga and dystopian science fiction hunting down my special ass because I got the keys to bring down the kingdom installed inside my fucking neck by said corrupt corporation and now everybody wants a piece, and you're talking about school...OW!" The black haired youth yelped in surprise as a hand came down on his head. "I'm so sorry Mary-san, if I said anything to offend you please forgive me!"

'Tabane' huffed slightly as she glared at the kid Jin had left with her before he had pulled one of his vanishing stunts, presumably to fight a one man battle against both the hardliners and the moderates in the Underworld that had been struggling for power after the sudden invasion by the dragons and the subsequent death of many magical leaders in the chaos that followed. He had asked her to keep the brat safe and hidden from even his children, but with the way things were currently going, the little twerp was going to get himself and the infamous inventor both dead or in some gulag if he didn't work on his attitude.

_Plus he's distracting me from my experiments and the gift I need to give Houki-chan...hopefully Chifiyu doesn't find out and spoil the fun. Seriously what is wrong with that woman, her, Yamada-kun and I were on the same team when we were in Phantom Task and when I return her to the world of the living, first thing she does is break out and destroy so much of my equipment and experiments while running off with that upgraded space suit I had worked so hard to create! And make us a target for every intelligence agency and law enforcement group known to man! _

Her thoughts were interrupted by the voice of Jin on the secure phone-line. "_Did he say something? Tell him to keep out of trouble and not attract attention, and if he asks where I am, tell him I'm busy on a new case_,"

"He's fine, there's just some issues with his sub-brain that I'll get fixed later. Can I ask you something Jin?"

"_Sure thing, just make it short_,"

"Why the hell did you ask for us to get married? I know you needed somewhere to hide and the Heroes can be quite obnoxious when they want to be, but still..."

"_Is Shinra around?_"

"No, why?"

"_Do the names Khaos Brigade and Phantom Task ring a bell?_"

[ED:_** Mirai no Chizu**_ (_Uta no Prince Sama_ ED)]


End file.
